Welcome to the Single Life

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

2010-12-31T20:08:00.000-08:00

The New Year Meme: 2010

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Landed an audition for a lead in a film!
Filmed the above film
Went to CREATIONFEST!!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make a new year's resolution this past year, and won't again tonight!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, but there were a LOT of pregnancy announcements this year! 2011 is a big year for babies!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just the good ol' US of A.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

Last year I said balance. This year I say 'joy.' 2010 was a much better year than 2009 for joy, but I want to find joy in every aspect of my life. I think with having more acting in my life, this will be a more 'joyful' year!

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 20–25 - Travelling down to Enumclaw, WA with the Jens for CreationFest!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Returning to school! Landing my first audition since returning really helped me realize that I have chosen the right career.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I think my biggest failure was not staying true to my heart. Enough said.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oh did I ever! This year was full of illness! Most of it unexplainable too. Not fun!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I really didn't buy much this year...other than the usual clothes, music, etc.
Can I include my education in this? Although that won't really be paid for for awhile!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Jen, my roommate, for putting up with me all this year! :)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

There are only a few people who have "made me appalled or depressed" but that is in the past, all has been forgiven and it's a new year.

14. Where did most of your money go?

To an evil credit card company. Also rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Creation! Returning to school! Browser! (the film I did) My photo shoot yesterday where I was the photographer this time!

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Oh my goodness! There are so many good songs from this year! I think mainly anything from Needtobreathe!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) It's a different happy b) about the same c) about the same, maybe poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Taken better care of myself financially and physically.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Procrastinating and just being lazy.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent Christmas morning with a client and then Christmas evening with my roommate and a friend. It was a pretty chill day.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Did I fall in love? Well, no. But I've got lots of love, both coming in and going out.

22. How many one-night stands?

Zero.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

It is still GLEE. How can you not love singing, dancing, drama and comedy all in one!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope. I'm not much of a hater, really.

25. What was the best book you read?

Hmmm. Let me see.... I didn't actually read a lot again this year...which is kinda sad. I started reading a few books, I read some that weren't awesome. Maybe that's something I can work on this year...

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Needtobreathe! Hands down my favourite band!

27. What did you want and get?

So many things. I returned to school, began pursuing a passion(acting), did more photography, went to CreationFest, went camping...and oh so much more!

28. What did you want and not get?

zero debt...instead I added to it
finding 'the one' although I realize that this was definitely not a good year for that, it was more about finding myself.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

hmmm...I just saw Burlesque and quite enjoyed it...I don't remember what came out this year...

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 24. I spent it in the hospital with a migraine, but the nurses were all really nice and gave me nice drugs...

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being in debt. again enough said.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

This year was comfy trendy. I found it more important to be comfortable than try and look amazing...but I think I ended up looking alright :)

33. What kept you sane?

My incredible roommate! I don't know what I would ever do without her!!!!!

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I still think Taylor Lautner, although he is now of age he is still far too young for me :)
This year really wasn't a huge year for celebrity "fancying"

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

I don't really follow politics much, unless it is a major issue. I'm kinda in my own little bubble that way.

36. Who did you miss?

Everyone at camp!! I still can't believe I missed another summer!
My family

37. Who was the best new person you met?

My classmates! All of them have made the past few months so incredible!!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Follow your heart.
I know it's over said, but it's so true!
Also, healing takes time, but everything heals.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
-Needtobreathe

The End.

2010-11-30T20:56:00.000-08:00

With the end of November comes the end of NaBloPoMo. For those of you who have read everyday, stopped by every once and a while, or just once, thanks for stopping by! I have actually really enjoyed posting daily. Although I can't promise you anything, I am going to try and post more often, and eventually I will finish 30 Days of Truth.
Enjoy your December and holiday season. Oh and guys, this is also the day you get to shave off those hideous mustaches!

Feelings

2010-11-29T19:32:00.000-08:00

Ever feel like you were just left somewhere to rust, forgotten and no longer wanted? I feel for this truck I found in a bush at a park this summer. Makes me think of Toy Story.

My Mommy's Home!!

2010-11-28T23:34:00.001-08:00

I had an actual post for tonight but it will have to wait as my mom got back from her two week tour of Egypt and Israel!! SHE WALKED WHERE JESUS WALKED!!! How cool is that?!?!
We spent the last couple hours talking about her trip and what she saw. I'm so jealous and need to go there now!!

Anyway I got a couple presents which I will share with you tomorrow, but for now it's bedtime as I have class in the am.

How's Your Movember Growing?

2010-11-27T21:06:00.000-08:00

Chai

2010-11-26T23:21:00.000-08:00

I love it! I love the richness of the spices and the cream and the smell! mmmm!!! but yesterday I was told I had to cut all caffeine from my diet until we figure out why I have been lightheaded and dizzy for a week.
I am telling myself this isn't 'goodbye chai' but 'see you soon'.

30DOT will be continued when I actually am able to sit down and think about my answers. Right now any vertical position can only be held for short periods of time. I know...I'm falling apart.

Happy Birthday!!

2010-11-25T21:33:00.000-08:00

"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." - Lucille Ball

Happy Birthday to my dear, lovely cousin! I wish you love, beauty and joy in the years to come!

Sick Again!

2010-11-24T22:39:00.001-08:00

And no I'm not pregnant!

But it is supposed to snow 15cm tonight! That is wonderful news!! Let's hope I'm still alive and well enough to enjoy it!

Sent from my iPhone again. No big surprise there.

Baby It's Cold Outside

2010-11-23T23:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight I braved this horrible November weather* to join my friend Jared Hazzard in the release of his debut EP Allagash. He's an amazing artist and you should go onto iTunes and download it! It was a great night of music and I'm looking forward to hearing some more of his new stuff Dec 4 at Blenz at Maple and Broadway. Yes that is a plug! Being "married" to a musician has it's perks, access to great local music! Jen Miller, Jared Hazzard, Brandy McCallum, and Freddie Mojallal from Autumn Portrait will be playing some acoustic awesomeness from 7 til 10! Come out!!

Sent from my iPhone again. It's NaBloPoMo and I gotta post somehow!

*For those of you laughing at the "horrible" Vancouver weather you should know I grew up in Northern BC and do know what winter/-35/-40 feels like. I moved to Vancouver for a reason. I am now acclimatized and I'm okay with it.

Did you know...

2010-11-22T21:18:00.000-08:00

•that the stomach flu sucks?
•not having an Internet connection sucks?
•both of those at the same time and not having cable really sucks!?
•missing 2.5 days of acting school puts you really far behind?!
•going to bed early because you are really tired only makes you wake up really really early!?
•having somebody come home after you've had a really crappy day to do dishes and then sing/play you really pretty songs is really nice?!

Well now you do.

Again Sent from my iPhone using what little data I have left.

The Internets Have Failed Me Again

2010-11-21T21:19:00.001-08:00

But that's probably for a good thing as tonight I finally had absolutely nothing to keep me away from my homework. So for the last hour and a bit I have been memorizing Martin Luther King Jr's "I have a dream" speech. So far I have just over half served to memory! With just less than three weeks to final performance, I think I'm doing pretty well.

NaBloPoMo, I'm thankful we are nearing our departure for another year.

Sent from my iPhone

Snow, snow, snow!

2010-11-20T21:10:00.000-08:00

Last night I wished for snow, snow, snow! (Robert Munsch anyone?) All I got was snow, but it was enough to make me smile, giggle with joy, and happily don my boots and mittens to go play in the snow!Frosty the Snowman #1 of 7.5. We had a lot of fun at work today :)

30DOT to be continued...

30DOT: Judgement

2010-11-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Please read the whole way through and don't judge on the first couple of sentences.

I am a Christian, thus I believe that the Bible is truth. The Bible says in both the old (Leviticus 18:22) and the new (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) testaments that homosexuality is a sin. Just going by that alone, I would have to say that homosexuality is wrong. I was raised to believe that marriage is for a man and a woman who love each other deeply and are committing their lives to each other.

BUT! If I believe that the Bible is truth than I also have to believe the other verses such as Matthew 7:1-5, Luke 6:37, and Romans 14:1-13 which all command us to not judge are also true. So who am I to judge whether one persons "sins" are greater than my "sins."

I believe that people should be accepted for who they are, not for what they look like, where they are from, who they love. I believe that people should be able to marry whomever they want. Canada and the USA both claim to be free nations, but how can they be when people are not free to be themselves?

Tomorrow's Truth: Religion

30DOT: 10 Things

2010-11-18T18:40:00.000-08:00

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm

To be completely honest I haven't finished reading this book yet, but what I have read so far really has changed my views on Autism.

Just over a year ago I began working as a childcare worker/behaviour support worker with youth who have autism. I didn't really understand what Autism was then, and I still really only know the basics. This book is a real eye opener.

Ten Things zeros in on the importance of sensory issues and thoroughly explains their direct link to a child's behavior. Ellen reminds parents that "seemingly inexplicable behavior ... all have a sensory cause ... No matter how unprovoked, how random it may appear, behavior never comes out of nowhere." She guides parents through reformatting their own beliefs and suggests ways to identify and work with the child's sensory structure... - Amazon Commenter

The kids I work with are amazing and I really wish people would realize just how unique they are, and not treat them like they have a disease. If you are the least bit interested, go find this book and read it!

Let's Take a Break...

2010-11-17T23:30:00.000-08:00

30 Days of Truth will be continued tomorrow. I just needed a break aka I didn't want to answer today's yet.

Photo Break:

A couple of weeks ago I asked Heather if she would be interested in shooting a guy. She said yes of course, and when she came to visit me last week she shot my friend Stu. He needed some new head shots, she needed some portfolio work, I figured they could help each other out. I tagged along with my camera and snuck in a few shots here and there. This is one of my favourites:I'll share more when I have time to edit them.

30DOT: Smoke

2010-11-16T23:19:00.000-08:00

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I hate smokers. As people, I'm sure most of them are really swell people, but it's their habit that I do not like. It smells bad in the air. It smells bad on their breath. It smells bad on their clothes. It smells bad on their skin. It's gross, and dirty, and makes me sick. I plan to live a long, healthy life, and if I end up with lung cancer from second hand smoke, I swear someone else will be dying too!

If you are a smoker, please don't be offended. I know that no matter what I say, or the government says, or your loved ones say you won't quit until you choose to do it for you, so please, for yourself (and for the rest of us!) consider quitting.

Tomorrow's Truth: Book Report

30DOT: Fallen Hero and Facebook

2010-11-15T22:04:00.000-08:00

Since I missed one day and these work together:

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Dear Facebook,

When I first discovered you in my first year of university, I was expecting you to be just another MySpace, Hi5, and ummm whatever those other pages were, but you were different. You didn't allow for expression of individuality with your one colour option and lack of music and glittery add -ons (THANK YOU!). You did have lots off different applications though: quizzes, photos, videos, super walls, and games. You enabled me to stay in touch with everyone from my past, present and future. I had a place to show my friends and family what I was up to, both with statuses and photos. I could share that I was in a new relationship. I could share about how awesome our dates were. I could share how classes were going...or weren't going. I could easily find all this information and more about my "Facebook friends." I soon discovered that you were a much better form of procrastination then reading non school related books, playing online games and The Sims 2.

It's been 6 years, and I must say that I have enjoyed you. You have gotten me in contact with people I never stayed in contact with, some for a reason. I was not friends with people in high school who threatened me regularly for a reason, why would I want to be "Facebook Friends" with them now. You have also made it easier for people to stalk me. My privacy settings are as private as I can get them, and yet people still manage to find me. Not cool. I have accepted this as something I will have to deal with in trade for your other better qualities, but you keep changing your privacy settings and make it harder and harder for me. I have almost deleted you so many times! Almost....but then I would lose all the progress on my Farmville, which is a very sad fact in itself.

I spend too much time on you. My life is no longer as private as it once was. I know at some point I will probably delete you, but that time is not yet. I am too dependent on you. I mean, who even asks for email addresses or phone numbers anymore?! It's usually "Are you on Facebook?" "Yeah I am search for 'Lucy Lee'" "Sweet I'll add you when I get home/right now on my iPhone." "Yay we'll be friends forever!" Ok so maybe not quite, but you know what I mean.

Anyway this past month I was disconnected from the internet and have rediscovered the joy of reading, albeit what I'm reading is not great literature it is entertaining. I will not be seeing you as much unless my phone happens to be near a free WiFi (yeah yeah I know, I read the news: hackers etc.) or I get that incredible urge and use my 3G. Damn you iPhone!

Now where is that homework....

Tomorrow's truth: Living Without

30DOT: T.Swizzle

2010-11-14T19:45:00.000-08:00

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Dear Taylor Swift,

As much as I hate to say it, I used to not be able to stand your music. I don't especially like your first album, but I must say your last 2.5 have really been enjoyable.

Fearless:
A dear friend introduced me to your Fearless album when I was having a particularly bad experience with a boy. She felt I should listen to the album, especially one song, "Hey Stephen," and after listening to a few more, and then eventually the whole album, I fell in love. You seemed to put exactly what I (and most likely every other 13-30+ single female) was feeling into all of your songs. I began listening to the album over and over, and can actually put a person to almost all of the songs. Fifteen & Forever and Always: my high school sweetheart. Breathe: my "college" sweetheart. Hey Stephen & You Belong with Me: my summer fling. Seriously, how did you get into my head?! Oh and I can't forget that this album now also reminds me of Florida! It played EVERYWHERE while I was there!

Speak Now:
I was very excited for this album to be released. Truth be told, I was a little wary after you released those not so awesome additional 6 songs on Fearless Platinum, but was pleased with this new album. Although I haven't "lived" as many of these songs, I love them.
I have been in a Speak Now situation, but I stayed home instead of speaking out, and it was the right decision! What a mistake that would have been! Haunted....oh haunted. Better than Revenge, The Story of Us: my 'one who got away'. Enchanted: smiles...that's a bit of a current smile :)

You have this wonderful ability to tell a story through your music. So thank you on behalf of all women who listen to you. You have told our story, and helped us feel not as alone as we feel.

30DOT: Please Stop

2010-11-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Ok so only once in my life can I remember someone asking me to stop this one particular thing, but it has stuck with me ever since. I actually have only recently done it again in public/in front of people. It's always something I have wanted to be good at, especially because I have so many friends and family who are so blessed in the particular way. I've even considered getting lessons, just so I could have the confidence to do it in public.

I would LOVE to be able to sing. Absolutely love it! I have recently taught myself how to play guitar, and one of these days I will get a keyboard and reteach myself how to play, and then, just maybe, I'll have the confidence to share the world, or at least my very close and personal friends, something I love to do in the shower and when no one is home.

Tomorrow Truth: Dear [Musical Artist]....

Internet Fail

2010-11-12T22:02:00.001-08:00

Unfortunately my Internet is disconnected and I can seem to uhhh borrow a connection, so I am attempting to post by email through my phone. High tech I know.

Today I enjoyed the company of my mother and didn't get a chance to post earlier. :)

30 DOT will continue tomorrow when I get to a wifi connection.

Sent from my iPhone

30DOT: Wow! You have really beautiful...

2010-11-11T17:37:00.000-08:00

...eyes!

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

It is always the same thing...."wow you have beautiful eyes! Are they real?"
I love my eyes, I do, they are such an incredible blue! But, I really am getting sick of people asking me if my eyes are real. I understand that some people wear contacts, but you can usually still tell if it's fake. And what do you really say to that? "No, I'm blind in both eyes and these are glass eyes!" Which, really, would be quite insensitive of me considering my brother does have a glass eye.
I usually say "yes, these are real." but it just seems like such a strange question to ask someone!
One day these babies are gonna get me a job though, and make me recognizable world round!

Tomorrow: No compliments...

-----------------------------------------------------

Today is Remembrance Day here in Canada. I went to the ceremony at the cenotaph in Victory Square. It was wonderful to see so many people there! and such a wide range of ages!
I am so thankful to all the men and women who have and are currently serving our country. My life would not be the same. Thank you for your commitment. It was wonderful to hear at today's ceremony that we remember and thank the men and women for their sacrifices, physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

My grandfather served in Italy during WWII. Although he returned alive, he had been damaged psychologically. One of the great stories that is told about him was that he came across a child German soldier who he told" Get the hell outta here. I don't want to kill you." and then let the kid go. My grandfather wasn't very old when he served either. I unfortunately did not get to meet him, but I thank him for his commitment.

30DOT: Let Go

2010-11-10T23:01:00.000-08:00

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Truth be told, as that is the name of this game, I don't believe there is anyone in my life that is toxic enough to wish I didn't know, nor that I feel the need to let go. Everyone I have in my life, or have had in my life, I have learned and hopefully grown because of the relationship.

You may say this is a cop-out answer, but it is my truth.

Tomorrow: Compliments

30DOT: Letting Go

2010-11-09T21:32:00.001-08:00

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

This one, although I have not wanted to do, is actually quite easy: my two best friends in high school. We did everything together. We said we were sisters, and told each other EVERYTHING! The three of us have drifted apart, and I miss them dearly. One has a kid, who I never get to see, and the other just recently moved to the island, so is somewhat closer, but I have not gotten to see yet.

I am very envious of people who are still close friends with their high school friends. I know it's more likely to stay close with the friends you meet in college, but I miss my girls.

Tomorrow: Needing to let go

PS I no longer have internet, so I am hoping to be able to finish NaBloPoMo. I will be coffee shopping and searching for free wifi!

30DOT: On Dwelling

2010-11-08T20:40:00.000-08:00

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like sh**.

Yes, I censored. I'm not a fan of swearing just for the sake of swearing. I'm not self-righteous or anything, I just think there are more creative ways to get your point across.

Back to today's topic: someone who made my life hell, etc.

This is kinda a tough subject for me. I don't really feel there has really been any point in my life that was "hell." There were a lot of really tough situations: high school drama, university profs treating me like crap, university dorm drama, boys who broke my heart, girls that are still mean, etc. I used to take things really personally (see day one) and I still do, but I really try to put things behind me. I don't want to dwell on the bad things in life, because in my experience those who do are really unhappy people to be around. I want to be someone who people are drawn to, not repelled from.

So yes, I have had my fair share of unpleasant people and situations in my life. If you really want to hear about them become a close personal friend and take me out for chai on a bad day. Seriously, I will vent! And I will enjoy it! But I don't feel a public blog is the place to do that.

The next 2 days: letting go.

30DOT: Spoken For

2010-11-07T07:07:00.000-08:00

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

I was 4 years old when I met the most influential person in my life. I didn't quite understand the depth of our relationship at the time, nor did I understand for years to come. Our relationship has definitely not been easy. There have been times where I have ignored Him. There have been times where I have not wanted to be His friend anymore. But through it all, I know He has always been there for me. This past summer marked our 21 year anniversary.

Some of you probably know to whom I am referring (that correction was just for you Heather). The "someone" for whom has made my life worth living would be Jesus (and no that's not the Mexican guy living down the street).

On March 7, 2009 I got a tattoo on my foot with the words Spoken For. If you have never heard the song Spoken For by Mercy Me you can click here. It was the inspiration for the tattoo. I know that through my relationship with Christ my heart is already spoken for, both by Him and the man He has chosen for me. You will find out more about my personal views on Religion later this month, so I won't elaborate now. I will say this: He, Christ, is worth living for.

Tomorrow: Someone who made your life hell.

30DOT: Hopes 2

2010-11-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Again there are a lot of things I hope to never have to do. I hope to never have to fight a disease such as cancer. I hope to never have to bury a child. I hope to never have to say goodbye to a loved one. I hope to never have to live on the streets. I hope to never be in an abusive relationship. I hope to never have to give up on my dreams (see yesterdays post). I hope to never be persecuted for my beliefs.

But here's the thing: even if I do have to do any of these I know that I will be able to survive, because I know that God will never give me anything that I can not handle.

Tomorrow: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

30DOT: Hopes and Dreams

2010-11-05T15:36:00.001-07:00

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Oh, where to start with this one?! I have so many things that I plan to do in my lifetime! If I were to narrow it down to my top 3, it would go something like this:

1. Get married to the love of my life.
I have had my wedding planned out for several years now. I'm a girl...I started planning it when I was in elementary school! Now all I need is a groom. Even if I don't get the wedding of my dreams, I know I will have the man of my dreams.

2. Have a family.
I have also always dreamed of having a family. I am a very nurturing person and love kids. I know that right now I am far to young to have children, so I am completely willing to wait on this one. Right now I like babies/kids as long as they are happy and cute and have parents I can send them back to.

3. Act in a movie/tv show.
The only career I have ever REALLY wanted was to be an actor. I love it. It's tough work, but so incredibly fun! My dad always told me to do what I love and the money will come. So although it's tough right now, I know all my training will pay off one day, and you will see me on the silver screen!

Tomorrow: Something you hope you never have to do.

30DOT: Forgiveness

2010-11-04T15:06:00.000-07:00

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Can I skip this one please? It's hard enough admitting to myself and the world that I need to forgive myself for something, but now I have to admit I have to forgive someone else for something!

OK fine! This one is more admitting to myself and the person if they ever come across this post. PostSecret style:

Tomorrow: Something you hope to do in your life.

30DOT: Self-Forgiveness

2010-11-03T22:38:00.001-07:00

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

They sat on the steps late one night. He could tell something wasn't quite right. She could tell something wasn't quite right. Although they had spent the day together, he had barely spoken to her all day. She had barely said anything to him all day. He asked her what was wrong. She began to cry. She didn't want to admit anything. He asked if she wanted to continue. She said "I don't know." He asked her if she still loved him. She said "I don't know." She cried the whole way home.

They met up a few days later. She told him it was over. She cried. He cried. They parted ways.

Truth: Giving up to easily.

Love: Inner Geek

2010-11-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

There are a lot of things I like about myself, but one thing I absolutely LOVE about myself is my inner geek. I read/collect comic books. I love it. I have electronic comics on my iPhone so when I have some down time I always have something I can read. It's wonderful. I am more of a fan of the Marvel Universe than the DC Universe, but DC does have some entertaining reads. They also make some pretty awesome animated movies.
One thing that really makes me happy is when I can join in on a conversation with a bunch of guys and the looks on their faces when they realize that I actually know what they are talking about and have an opinion as well. I am more than just a pretty face boys!

On the loving yourself topic, I have to tell you about an amazing book that is coming out soon!!! The Beauty of Different by Karen Walrond is available Nov 15th!! Karen is an amazing photographer and women! You can read about the book and watch the trailer here and you can even enter to win one of her fabulous press kits by leaving Karen a comment here! I seriously want to win this! And even if I don't win I will be eagerly awaiting to flip through my copy as soon as I buy one! This will make a great Christmas present too for any beautiful women in your life!

A Month of Truths

2010-11-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I have made my decision. I will be attempting NaBloPoMo again this year. In order to give myself something to look forward/plan to write about I am also going to to attempt 30 Days of Truth, which was suggested to me by the lovely Heather. This may get a little awkward, difficult, funny, sad, fun, etc, so whether you are just passing through or a returning reader, welcome to a glimpse into my life.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

My brain. It is the reason for a lot of my unhappiness in life. I think too much. I over analyze far too much, which often leads to me thinking that everything is about me, and not in a good way. This happened once where my roommate wrote a song and I totally thought it was about me trying to steal a guy from another girl, when really it was based on her watching too much tv.
I can walk into a conversation and immediately think people are talking badly about me. It's what makes it very difficult for me to make friends sometimes.
My brain also is at fault for my self-image problems. I don't want to go too much into it right now, but let's just say I am not a fan of the standards the fashion industry has placed upon women. The world has told us for far too long how we should look, act, feel, etc. And unfortunately, my brain succumbed to it all, but that's changing.....

Tomorrow's truth: Something you love about yourself.

To NaBloPoMo or not to NaBloPoMo

2010-10-28T15:59:00.000-07:00

With November right around the corner my heart is beginning to quicken its pace, my hands are getting sweaty and my brain is starting to hurt. Why? Because every year I attempt NaBloPoMo. I always decide to do it as a last minute thing, and although I did complete it last year, there really has not been very many posts since. When it comes to committing to a project, I'm really not that good.
So should I try again this year? I guess I still have a couple more days to decide....

Shakespeare, Sonnets and [in]sanity!

2010-09-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

If you have ever studied Shakespeare you probably have also gone insane at some point in your life. Most likely this lapse in sanity coincided with the studying of Shakespeare. Now don't get me wrong his work can be incredibly beautiful, but also incredibly frustrating! (oh and also VERY sexual! don't believe me? check out Dirty Shakespeare by Pauline Kiernan)

In university I took a year long Shakespeare English course. I don't remember a whole lot from it other than the teacher was incredible too bubbly for 8:30 am and didn't like me very much. Now, a few years later, I am back in school. I am again dealing with Shakespeare, but this time I am memorizing, analyzing and reciting. Not necessarily in that order. This past week we were to memorize and recite Sonnet 116 and 27. 116 I LOVE! I memorized it in about 30 minutes and can recite with passion and be able to relay the meaning. 27 though.....well I can recite it after several hours over a few days of working on it. It's dark and sad and not nearly as fun at 116! After doing 116 my teacher exclaimed "THAT'S F-ING AMAZING!" after 27....."well that wasn't very good." OK there was a little more, some praise for my decisions and effort, but really it sucked.

So here's my question to any of you readers still out there:

What is your favourite work by Mr William Shakespeare? and why?

Free Music Giveaway!!

2010-09-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard Jen Miller is back in the studio recording a new album. It is sounding amazing!! Do you want to be the first to hear it?! Do you want to win FREE MUSIC?! Of course you do! So here's how you can do it.
1. Become a fan of Jen Miller Music.
2. Go to her YouTube page and choose your favourite video and post it on your facebook or link to it on your twitter. Just make sure you tag Jen Miller Music (or @Jenmillermusic on twitter) so that she knows that you've done it.
And that's it. When it is released you will receive a link to where you can download the VERY FIRST SINGLE off of Jen Miller's new album! AND you will be entered to win a draw for a FREE ALBUM! (2 entries if you post on FB and Twitter!) Let your friends know about the contest and have a good day!

Update: It has been released! And although it is not yet available on itunes, you can listen to it on her myspace or click below! Post your fav video on FB, let her know and you will receive the link to where you can download it!

Find more Jen Miller albums at Myspace Music

I Won't Look Back

2010-08-01T23:06:00.000-07:00

This is my newest favourite song by Needtobreathe. I fell in love with it while on my walk this afternoon. I need to find a piano so I can learn it. It's not the best quality video, but It's a band that you all need to check out. Love them!

I Won't Look Back by Needtobreathe

Love, love isn’t always
Love, the way that we mean
Just like you are right now is all, all that I need

Let’s start over, don’t be afraid cause I won’t keep track
Let’s climb to the top
If you won’t look down, I won’t look back

Love, love isn’t always
Love, the kind that you hold
I will be here waiting if you, you can let go

Let’s start over, don’t be afraid ‘cause I won’t keep track
Let’s climb to the top
If you won’t look down, I won’t look back

Let’s start over, don’t be afraid ‘cause I won’t keep track
Let’s climb to the top

Facebook Hates Me

2010-07-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

Facebook is doing maintenance on my account so I am temporarily disconnected from the world. Well, not the entire world, but you know what I mean. It's sad. So I will leave you with a list of things that make me happy, because I don't want to make you all sad like me :) in no particular order:

1. A good chai latte, which is very hard to come by these days unless you know someone who knows how to make them from scratch, like my mommy :)
2. A good conversation with a good friend :)
3. Cotton Candy. Also in ice cream form.
4. Sunny Days...sweeping those clouds away...
5. Singing silly songs...I'm a camp kid :)
6. Camp. yeay! I love camp!
7. The number 7. Yep it makes me happy.
8. A good long restful sleep...speaking of...
Good night :D

Poetry Out of Boredom

2010-07-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

Last night I got bored, so I wrote a little something. It went like this:

I'll dye my hair. I'll change my clothes.
I'll stand up straight, go with the flow.
I'll wear a dress and even heels.
I'll dance all night no matter how I feel.
I'll be the best above the rest,
And yet I find I'll change my mind.
I'm too white and too fat,
And I look funny in a hat.
My nose is too cute and my skin not clear.
There is far too much in my rear!
I'll never be perfect I've realized.
There's too many standards and too many lies.
I'll accept myself as I am
If you don't like it?
Well, I don't give a damn!

Oh and I updated my look. So if you are reading from a reader come to the actual site. :) Let me know what you think. I like it :D

the old fashioned way

2010-07-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been updating lately. I have recently acquired a beautiful blue leather bound journal and have been journaling (why is that not a word?) the old fashioned way.

So what is new? In random list form:
1. SUMMER IS HERE! Finally! So happy! Words cannot describe the way I feel! Serotonin is coursing through my brain!
2. I have funny tan lines from my sneakers. Usually I have flipflop lines, but this year I bought these cute Converse slip on shoes so i have a funny line on the top of my feet. It makes me happy.
3. Yesterday for work I went swimming and hung out in the sun.
4. Last week I went to Playland. For free. Because my work is kinda awesome sometimes like that.
5. Today I'm going to the beach. I plan on eating ice cream too.
6. I have been going through a few sermon series from NewSprng Church based out of Anderson, South Carolina. I really like that if I am working and can't make it to church I can check out their live stream on Sundays and can watch old sermons too. The first one I watched was "Don't Get Married Until..." It was really good. I recommend it to all - single or married.
7. 7 is my favourite number.
8. I think I am finished for now. Have yourself a wonderful day!

Live Music Night!!

2010-06-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

Alright folks. If you are in the Vancouver area and want to hear some awesome live music come out to Blenz at Broadway and Maple on June 19th at 7! The amazingly talented Jen Miller will be performing! She has a few other gigs this summer, so check out her website!

Relationship Herpes

2010-05-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

It's a horrible metaphor but go with it.

I heard once that glitter is the herpes of crafts, because once you get it on you you can NEVER get them off. I told a friend recently that I was like herpes, and no matter what he did he would NEVER be able to get rid of me(yes, I did just refer to myself as being like herpes). After a lot of laughter over such an absurd comment, we went along with our dinner.

That evening I did a little thinking, which turned into a lot of thinking over the next couple of days. In actuality, our relationship was like herpes. We ended up in each other's lives unexpectedly; we didn't realize at first what we were; we are not necessarily that good for each other, although I'm sure we could live normal lives with each other; and yet we just can't seem to get rid of each other. We have tried, trust me, but time keeps pushing us back into each other's lives.

It's a horrible metaphor, but go with it.

Must be the Serotonin

2010-05-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking that I must be experiencing higher levels than normal Serotonin. Why you ask? Because, for the last 3 days I have looked at my butt and not though "UGH it's so big!" Yep, I actually have liked my butt. I wore my short shorts on Wednesday, a cute, short summer dress on Thursday, and although I call them my "fat shorts" I did wear them today, only because they are more work appropriate. I'm thinking this is a pretty big positive deal. Now, although it doesn't really matter all that much because one should love one's body no matter what size they are, I know I really shouldn't ever complain about mine. I am not a big girl by any means. Most would consider me to be tiny. I, on the other hand, usually do not. I consider myself "average" and I do not want to be "average." Damn you entertainment industry for making us all feel inferior!!!!

So back to the serotonin. I really don't know much about this hormone at all, but I do know it's produced during the day. I am going to say that I produce more on sunny days, and thus making me feel happier and prettier. Also, all this sun has been doing wonders for my skin! I love that once summer hits I have fewer breakouts!

It's proven that when someone does a simple act of kindness, not only do their serotonin levels increase, but so does the person who is receiving the act of kindness AND anyone who happened to witness the act. Yep, that's a lot of happiness from one simple act. So everyone, enjoy the sunshine where ever you are, and do something nice for someone.

Dude, it's not stalking...

2010-05-01T21:52:00.001-07:00

I found this in a magazine awhile back and thought it was hilarious. I also found an article that said "'Personally,....I believe there are bad people, and God put people here to shoot those people.'" But that is a completely different topic.

So back to the first one. Yes, I am a fan of Chuck, yes it's a horrible tv show, but it's funny. Again, I digress. As a friend put recently, "Twitter acknowledge's what it is, A stalker site. You even "follow" people,but it's ok because this is popular. Stalk me at [his twitter]."

We have become a very scary society of people. We can follow anyone's lives on facebook, twitter, and their own personal blogs. We can find out who our ex is currently dating, where our crush is eating lunch, how a complete stranger's daughter's birthday party went, and all without their knowledge. Sure, some people have privacy settings that keep strangers from this, but for the most part we have allowed a lot of personal information to become public. So how much info is too much?

I remember when we first got the internet at home. My mom was so very strict about what kind of sites I could go to, and what kind of info I could share. Sometimes I wish I had been more careful. Once that info is out there, it's there to stay!

Have you googled yourself? It's kinda scary the info you can get. Now, I'm not famous by any means, but when I googled myself, I can find my twitter, my old blog, 2 of my old jobs, my highschool and university, and a bunch of really bad photos of myself (from when I modelled at a photography school). So basically a LOT more info than I ever thought was out there.

So here's a couple questions for you today: is there anyone out there that you "check on" a little too much? would you want someone to be able to "internet stalk" you?

Dandelion

2010-04-21T22:26:00.000-07:00

I love finding new music and new artists. Itunes store genius has been great for finding new artists! Also my roommate is amazing for introducing me to new stuff. A few weeks ago Jen made me listen to a couple of songs, and I fell in love with this one! I have included the lyrics below. Enjoy for yourself!

"Dandelion" by Antje Duvekot

When Harry met Sally it was settled
That Mary Jane would fall for Spiderman
The story was set in stone like Tarzan and Jane, Yoko and John
You were like my Hollywood movie
The butterflies and Central Park kiss
Of course you would pursue me, I was Julia Roberts
I mean, how could you resist

Well, I am the Fourth of July
I'm throwing you a fire in the sky
You could go blind in my light
But you were looking for an orchid
And I will always be a dandelion
Dandelion

So I put on the best of my Warhols
I could have been your Marilyn Monroe
But you had only eyes for the Mona Lisa
You shared my cab ride all the way home

But I am the Fourth of July
I'm throwing you a fire in the sky
You could go blind in my light
But you were looking for an orchid
And I will always be a dandelion

I am a middle class home, I am a worn out banjo
I'll never dance in Swan Lake, I'll never play the cello
I am the Northern Lights, I am invisible
I am a dandelion, I am forever wild

I am the Fourth of July
I'm throwing you a fire in the sky
You could go blind in my light
But you were looking for an orchid
And I will always be
You were looking for a tea light
And I will always be a forest fire
A dandelion

Random Dozen

2010-04-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

1. Ever had any run-ins with the "library police?"
Yes, but just once. Last summer I forgot to return a book before heading to work at camp for the summer. It was kind of funny, since I used to BE the "library police!"
2. Do you have a special organizational plan and place for wrapping paper, gift bags, etc., or do you just purchase whatever you need as you give gifts?
I purchase whatever I need, and leftovers get thrown into my closet.
3. Have you ever been in (first-hand witness) a natural disaster?
Nope, thankfully.
4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song?
Ummm...honestly I'm embarrassed to say that I had to google "Barry Manilow songs" So from looking at the list, I enjoy quite a few, but can not decide to choose just one.
5. What's the best costume you've ever worn?
A few Halloweens ago I was a Jason victim. The special effect makeup was pretty stellar. People were coming up to me from one side asking me why I didn't dress up, and I would turn around and they would recoil in disgust. It was awesome!
6. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
Thesaurus
7. What's your favorite breakfast food?
Fruit. Especially in a smoothie or juice form. Or just fresh and cold!
8. Have you ever purchased anything from an infomercial?
Nope, but I am tempted to get the Snuggie.
9. Have you ever crawled through a window?
haha yes. My bedroom window goes out to our deck. In the summer it's easier to just jump back and forth rather then walk around to the living room.
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. I believe in attraction at first sight, but love grows overtime.
11. How many pairs of jeans do you own?
I wear 3 pairs regularly, but I own 5 or 6 I think.
12. If someone were going to bake a cake to honor/represent you, what would it be? (Think creatively, like Duff and Crew on "Ace of Cakes.")

It would be a wardrobe of clothes complete with shoes and handbags. Lots of clothes, shoes and handbags! and sunglasses.

And there's another Random Dozen! As always if you want to join in the fun head over to 2nd Cup of Coffee!

Uncontrollable Laughter

2010-04-19T22:57:00.000-07:00

Teenage girls are hilarious.

Have you ever just sat and listened to them talk? It's kinda amazing. I was on the train with my roommate today when 2 girls sat down behind us. Their conversation went something like this:

"Suzy* is going to be late, because she has to go for a run."

"Why is she running? Isn't she skinny?"

"She has HUGE love handles - [sees guys in front of us with a box of Cinnamon toast crunch] OMG I LOVE CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH! No like seriously I LOVE Cinnamon Toast Crunch! - So Anna is coming to the party"

"Ugh she's going to be hanging all over Josh"

"No I don't think Josh is going to be there."

"Josh not at a party, like ya right!" ...............

It was such a random conversation jumping back and forth from this party, to cereal, to absolutely everything.

The amazing eavesdropped conversations continued all evening. At dinner we sat beside the guy who apparently came up with the idea for the Inukshuk symbol for the 2010 Olympics. He was having a "meeting" which I think had something to do with advertising, event planning or Olympic pin trading. Either way, all 3 came up and out...as in the pins...including one that lit up...and they were both so excited....and loud.

Teen girls, pin traders and an "old" Asian man...and that story I just cannot tell.

Have yourselves a great night, morning, day, whatever it is where you are reading, and go have yourself a laugh.

Flashback Friday: Childhood lessons

2010-04-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

If you have a child in your life, your calendar for April and May is probably quickly filling up with end-of-year activities - performances, recitals, etc. Did you take lessons as a child? Piano or another instrument? Gymnastics or dance? Other types of lessons? Were they weekly? How much were you required to practice between lessons? Did you participate in recitals? If so, do any of them stand out in your memory? Did they foster a love or a hate for that activity? Did you want to take lessons in a certain thing that you never got to? And if you have kids now, how did your experiences with taking lessons like these impact the activities you had/have them do?

As a child I was in swimming, figure skating, piano and flute lessons. I was also on the school volleyball, basketball and track and field teams. Yes, I was a busy kid. For music lessons, I was required to practise daily. I hated it. Not the playing part, but the practising in front of my parents. The piano was in the living room. I was a pretty shy kid, and definitely didn't like "performing" in front of people. Swimming was once a week, I think. It was in the neighbouring town 45 minutes away. Skating was twice a week until I got to competitive levels and then it was 4 days a week. I had volleyball, basketball and track and field twice a week I think during the different seasons. Track and field may have been more than that.

I was in a few recitals for music. I hated it. Figure skating I did competitions and Ice shows twice a season, as well as test days. I didn't mind the ice shows and tests, but I got pretty nervous for the competitions. The two competitions that stand out the most in my mind were 2 of my last 3. The 1st, I got onto the ice for warm up, fell on my first jump, ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out! I had the worst stomach flu! Not fun! The 2nd was the Northern BC Winter Games. I didn't place, BUT it was the first time I landed a couple of my double jumps in competition! It was pretty exciting!

I always wanted to take dance lessons, but the nearest dance studio was an hour away and I was already in too many things. I eventually chose figure skating over all of the others. I wish I had stayed in piano though.

The only "child in my life' is the kid I work with. She is in gymnastics and soccer. I think I would have liked gymnastics, but I hated soccer. I'm kinda dreading soccer season to start up to be honest.

And there's another Flashback Friday for you. Check out Mocha with Linda if you want to join in the fun!

Oh and it's my birthday today so you should show me some comment love today :)

Fail

2010-04-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

Apparently I failed at April's NaBloPoMo but that's okay, because only November is for prizes. I need the possibility of physical positive reinforcements, or so it would seem.

What has been happening? Well...I work 72 hr shifts. That pretty much sums up my life. This is my last full weekend of work for a month! woot! It's kinda exciting. I love having actual weekends off. It's also nice working weekdays because the kids are in school and I don't actually have to work as much. Yep, I know; I'm lazy.

Oh in other news I bought myself a birthday present today! I am so excited for it to come in the mail!! It's called a lightscoop. It's pretty much awesome. I hope it works as well as it claims. I have been taking a sabbatical from photography lately, because I just haven't been creatively charged. All of my creative prowess has gone into music. I'm hoping this will peak my interest again. Plus, I have a really hot model who is willing to work with me. :) Pictures and new will follow once I get it :) Look at all the smiles...you know I'm excited when...

Random Dozen

2010-04-08T22:04:00.000-07:00

1. Define a great relationship.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

2. Why is it called a "drive-through" if you have to stop? (Real question: What was the last food/drink you purchased at a drive-through?)

I think I had a cheese burger and fries from a Triple O's and an ice tea. That was back in January.

3. As I type this, the Butler Bulldogs are getting ready to play in the NCAA championship game. Every Hoosier is hysterical about this except me. So in honor of the Bulldogs ... what is your favorite breed of dog? (I tried.)

Wolf. I used to housesit for a family that had two domesticated wolves. They were amazing and so much fun! And BEAUTIFUL!!!

I also love Huskies, and Alaskan Malamutes.

4. If you had to move to a state besides the one you currently live in, where would you move?

If I had to move to another PROVINCE I would move to Ontario.

If I had to move to a STATE I would have no idea! Umm...Oregon or California?

5. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

My parents were amazing in how they raised me. I don't think I would change anything. I hope that I can be just as strong yet loving as my parents when it comes to rules.

6. Who's the funniest person you know?

Oh my goodness...I have no idea.

7. Did you get enough sleep last night?

Absolutely not! I actually probably did, but it just didn't feel like it.

8. What's the first thing you thought about this morning?

Where am I? haha that's what I get for falling asleep during while watching tv at a friend's place.

9. Grilled or Fried? --HONESTLY

Grilled. On occasion I enjoy/crave a good fried chicken, but generally I like my meat and veggies grilled.

10. Are you afraid of the dark?

Nope, but I am a little scared of what goes bump in the night. Mainly this fear comes up when I am walking somewhere dark, or when it's windy outside and tree branches hit the window. I have an overactive imagination at times.

11.When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a figure skater, a librarian, a teacher, a doctor, an actor, a model, a pharmacist, an interior decorator, a writer, a photographer, but mostly a mom.

12. If you had one word to describe yourself , what would you choose?

growing

Let Me Introduce You To...Jen Miller

2010-04-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

Who is Jen Miller?

According to her website she

... is one of the most honest song writers i've ever met. She speaks earnestly about reconciliation, peace, and sacrifice. She has passion in her lyrics that most artists work their whole life to achieve. Jen doesn't only capture her audience with her lyrics, but with her incredibly addictive melodies. I played a show with Jen and found myself, involuntarily, humming the melody for two weeks straight. Jen is a very sincere person, and her music mirrors her life

-Derek Kehler

To me Jen is my best friend, my roommate, and my "wife."

Jen and I first met in the summer of 2007. I was looking for a place to live and found her ad on Craigslist. After meeting up, she actually chose someone else for the room. Days later her other roommate decided to leave, and I got a phone call saying that if I wanted it I could move in. So less than a month later I was driving down to Vancouver in Brent's truck (more on him and his awesome wife in a future post). Jen and I clicked as soon as I let her in. Throughout the next few months we talked about moving out of the house and finding our own place. When spring came we decided to part ways. We unknowingly moved into the SAME BUILDING on the other side of the city, actually in another city, a floor apart. Coincidence? or God just telling us we were meant to be together? After living separately for a year, we moved back in together. It's been a year and we are finally making our place "home." (Again, more on that later) We have been through a lot together in the past three years. She has been my list Purolator ening ear, my shoulder to cry on and all of those other cheesy lines :)

So why should you know Jen, other than the fact that she is one of the most incredible people you will ever meet? She is an amazing musical artist. My family fell in love with her music before they met her, and then were lucky enough to be the first people to have her new so far unreleased album. Just check out her website or youtube page and you can see for yourself. After you do that come back here and let me know what your favourite song is. Always Be is one of my favs, partly because Jen sang it to my last boyfriend changing the words a bit. Very humorous!

To clarify the "wife" bit: she is my "heterosexual life partner" as some friends would put it. We just click, and through living

together for the better part of the last 3 years we have fallen into some "husband/wife" roles. I love her :)

The best laid plans of ...[me]

2010-04-05T23:05:00.001-07:00

I had this wonderful post planned in my head for tonight. I thought of it while on a walk with client Awesome. But seeing as it's 11pm and client Awesome has to be woken up for school at 630am and staff Me doesn't like mornings, reader You will have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow after I clean work House, shower normal Me and possibly nap sleepy Me, then maybe I will sit down and write my post.

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure why I decided to do April NaBloPoMo. I can barely get through November. But here I am, almost asleep, writing some drivel that no one cares about. So since I have had a particular not so fun Easter, let me leave you with this:

Happy Easter.

He has Risen.

and totally unrelated to Easter other than the bunnies, watch this:

BIG Trouble!

2010-04-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

Not me, but a kid I know. She broke her bedroom window and then continued to destroy everything she could.

This all happened when I wasn't around thankfully. I just have to help with the clean up and anger control for the next couple of days.

Right now = big headache!

Also, bedtime.

Fashion Flashback Friday

2010-04-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

The flashback this week surrounds our fashion memories. You may elaborate on your childhood Easter fashionsand/or share about styles in general. What fashions were popular when you were growing up? (Any time from birth to high school graduation) What did you beg to wear? What style did you happily embrace that you now look back and think, "Ugh! Whatever possessed me to wear that? ( Of course, pictures would be great - the more hideous embarrassing, the better!) Have any of these come back into style? What have you worn that you vowed you never would? (You can also include hairstyles in your walk down Memorial Fashions Lane!)

This will be short.

I grew up in the 90s. My favourite outfit was a matching tights and tshirt combo that was white with very colourful dalmatian spots on it and the 101 Dalmatians on the front of the tshirt. I don't have a picture for you, but I think you can probably imagine for yourself the amazingness of it!

I am sad to say that the wearing of tights as pants is back. I am not a fan.

I also grew up wearing stirrup pants. Which I am thankful to say have not returned. I hope it stays that way! Stirrups was a BIG mistake!

BIG NEWS!

2010-04-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

It's April Fool's Day!

Today my Facebook feed was filled with "big news" from many friends!

"WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!! Pam just showed me the test!!!!!"

"Well, Brent jumped the gun so phonecalls shall follow shortly!"

This from a couple who have vowed never to have children, thanks to a little "snip snip" they hope to keel that vow.

"Happiest day of my life!"

followed by relationship status change to "engaged

This from my ex who I had been hanging out with last night!

"Poor Martina, shoulda never let Jasmyn drive her...."

This from a mom who LOVES her car!

"had a shotgun wedding tonight. Nothing like a bun in the oven to get a guy to commit!"

This from me. I had a few people confused, but most know me and knew it was a joke.

"has fallen for every april fools joke so far today, even the facebook relationships status changes."

And this from a poor friend who I guess didn't realize what day it was.

How about you? Did you do anything horrible/funny today?

Another Epiphanie Contest!

2010-03-31T10:34:00.000-07:00

Have you seen all the beautiful new products & contest for pro photographers on http://www.DesignAglow.com?

Seriously amazing! I want a bag to hold my camera while i go on my trip that I am going to win from the other Epiphanie contest!. Oh please magic fairies of all things good and wonderful help me win one or possibly both contests! If that's not too much to ask?!

Random Dozen: Easter Version

2010-03-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

1. How do you feel about the marshmallow Easter Peeps?
Ew. So yeah...not a fan. Also not a fan of the creme filled eggs. Caramel for me please!

2. Chickens are notoriously nervous creatures. When you are nervous, what is the best way to calm down?
Being myself in front of a crowd. When I'm given a character it's easy, but when it's me I'm so nervous! I have a pre-show ritual that I do did when I was doing theatre. Breathing and praying is the shortened version.

3. People say, "April showers bring May flowers." Do you enjoy Spring rains?
I love the rain…sometimes. I love the first rain after it's been dry and yucky. The smell, especially after the first neighbour mows their lawn, is awesome!

4. When I was randomly flipping through TV channels this week, I saw a show in which tattoo parlor employees received tattoos of a co-worker's face on their bodies. I can't imagine having a portrait of a colleague tattooed on me. But if someone forced you to receive a portrait tattoo (face only) of anyone, who would it be? Why?
If this is in the future, my child's face. If it is now, umm…~~Taylor Lautner~~ ~~Jen Miller~~ my kitty. He's adorable and I miss him.

5. Would you rather have a tattoo (any kind) or a nose ring?
Well I have had both. Still have the tattoo, but had to take out the nose ring. I would love to have the nose ring back, and am planning another tattoo. Piercings and tattoos are addicting; it's true.

6. Do you have any special plans for Easter?
I will be working, so I will be hiding easter eggs and making special easter baskets for my "kids".

7. Cadbury Eggs or Reese Eggs?
Cadbury for me. Reese for my roommate.

8. What was the last thing/person you took a picture of?
A rosebush that was just starting to bud.

9. What book are you reading now, or what was the last one?
I am currently reading Grow Great Grub by Gayla Trail (YouGrowGirl) It's awesome and I can't wait to go home and start some seeds!

10. What do you think is the most difficult task when it comes to Spring cleaning?
EVERYTHING! I hate organizing and cleaning! I like having things clean, just not the actual cleaning it myself part. Probably just the starting. Yep starting spring cleaning is the hardest. Or maybe the finishing….since technically we started but haven't finished yet.

11. How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
Too many.

12. Which color makes you happiest?
Blue. Either a rich sky blue, or a slightly tealy sky blue. Also yellow.

And there's another Random Dozen! Come back for the month of April as I attempt blogging everyday! This month's theme is BIG!

Oh Epiphanie!

2010-03-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

I want to win this. I can't decide if I want the camera or the gift card. What am I talking about? This giveaway courtesy of Epiphanie. They make the cutest camera bags! I want the blue one.

They are giving away a brand new Canon 5D Mark II or a $2500 Gift Card to Southwest Airlines!

So if you want a chance to win head over here before March 31st at midnight!

Will Attempt to Grow Great Grub

2010-03-29T13:55:00.000-07:00

My roommate and I have decided to attempt growing our own veggies and herbs on our balcony. I have been thinking about it for awhile, since my dad is an avid gardner. Karen, over at Chookooloonks, recommended Gayla Trail's, You Grow Girl, new book Grow Great Grub on this post, for growing your own food in a small space. Today as I was walking through Chapters, after surviving a torrential downpour of rain on the way from the car door to the store door, I happened across her book. I was wandering around hoping the rain would stop enough for me to head back to the car and there it was, calling out to me, as a featured book in the aisle. I kinda got a little bit more than a little bit excited! Even though I don't personally know Karen or Gayla, it was almost like seeing a friend's book for the first time. I imagine I will be even more excited when I get Karen's book when it comes out, as I have been following her blog throughout her whole writing/taking pictures process.

So back to the gardening. In the next couple of weeks I have to figure out what I can plant, what kind of planters/soil I need, and then go buy it all. Ultimately I know I will save money/learn something new in the process, but it all seems like so much work right now. First to read this book. I'm excited. Oh and the photos alone are worth the buy!

I am Not a Mom

2010-03-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

But some days I feel like it.

To pay the bills I am a in home support worker at a group home for youth with autism. It is, as everyone asks me, a "rewarding yet tough" job. Yesterday I threw a birthday party. There were only 11 of us there, but it felt like there were 20+. Trying to get the birthday girl to sit still and stay out of the kitchen was difficult enough, but to also have to keep an eye on the other 2 youth, because I had no idea where the other workers were at times, was just plain annoying. It went well enough. We filled the kids with more sugar than they have had in the last month and surprisingly there were no fights, well two narrowly avoided.

Getting the girls ready for bed last night took far too long for my liking, and when it finally came time for me to crawl into bed I was far too excited! I slept amazingly...until the wind storm and rain woke up one of the girls who ended up staying awake for 4HOURS!!!! because she was scared. Let's just say waking up at 630am this morning was a little difficult. The kids are all at school, and I am so ready for a nap.

I am not a mom, but some days I sure feel like it.

Flashback Friday Easter

2010-03-25T21:13:00.001-07:00

What was Easter like when you were little? For example, did you receive a basket with toys and candy? Was the Easter Bunny part of your family's celebration? Did your family integrate both secular and spiritual aspects of the day? Did you dye Easter eggs. . . .and did your family eat them afterwards? Did you usually get a new outfit? (Post a picture if you have one!) Does any Easter stand out particularly? You might also share how your Easter today is similar or different to your childhood.

Easter growing up was always very exciting! I should clarify that a little. Easter morning was not exciting. My parents would get us up very very early for the Sunrise Service. Sunrise service starts at 6 or 630 am. We would bundle up in our snow gear, drive out to the Peterson's field, crawl through the fence and join everyone else on the hill. People from all the different churches would gather together and sing and one of the pastors would have a short service. When it was done everyone would head to the hospital (it's a small town and the hospital is funded partially by one of the churches) for freshly made hot cross buns and coffee.

My family would head home and have a huge breakfast, followed by a scavenger hunt. Some years we wouldn't go to the Sunrise service and the day would start with the scavenger hunt followed by breakfast.

My mom and dad always out did themselves year after year. They would have these amazing clues that would have my brother and I running all over the property. Clues would lead us to the BBQ, the piano, out to the horse barn, even down to the garden! If you knew how far that was to run first thing in the morning you would sympathize with me! The one clue that I remember the most was about "tickling the ivories." We were too young at that point to know what that meant so we had to ask mom and dad for help. And that is when I first learned that expression. The last clue would be to where she had hidden our easter baskets filled with a special egg and toys. We had the same baskets through my entire childhood. We would have to hang them up on our doors before going to bed so the "easter bunny" could take it and fill it and then hide it.

Some years my birthday falls on Easter. These years mom would make a giant scavenger hunt with the final prize being the goodie bags. There were always lots and lots of chocolate around those years! More than usual! A couple of years ago, while I was at university, I specifically asked my mom not to send me any chocolate for my birthday as it was falling on easter. A few days before my birthday a big box arrives. I waited until my birthday morning to open it, as to my mom's instructions. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but not what I found. The box was absolutely stuffed with chocolate! Lots and lots and lot and lots of chocolate! It took me, and my best friend and her husband, months to eat all of it!

This year Easter will be very different as I will be spending it at work with my "kids." So I will be doing the hiding of the Easter Eggs this year. And trying to keep 2 kids from eating too much chocolate. :)

I have heard that in Christianity Easter is what it's all about. Some say Christmas is the big celebration, but without Easter there would be no point in His birth. So to all of you who pass by and read this, I hope you have a very Happy Easter!

Random Dozen on the Road

2010-03-25T15:32:00.001-07:00

The theme is Spring . . . and any other random questions that crept in.

1. What is your favorite sign of Spring?

The smell of a freshly mown lawn!!

2. Did you remember to spring forward on March 14? If not, how did it impact your day?

I did remember. Although I really wouldn't have noticed much either way as my phone is my alarm clock and the time changed on it automatically.

3. If soil, time, talent and climate were no problem, what vegetable would you plant in a garden this year?

Squash! Butternut and spaghetti! mmm.. and carrots and peas! and yams!

4. If soil, time, talent and climate were no problem, what fruit would you plant?
Pineapple!

5. What is your least favorite insect?

Mosquitos. Not only are their bites incredibly itchy, but they are so annoying! The constant buzzing and always in my face/ears! So not cool!

6. March 22 was World Water Day. To celebrate, here are some water questions. Do you drink bottled water? If so, what brand?

I do, but only if I forget my water bottle (which I fill with tap water). I will buy whatever is the cheapest or whatever is in the size that I want.

7. Have you ever been somewhere that it was not safe to drink the local water? If so, how did you handle that?

We drank and brushed our teeth with bottled water.

8. How many glasses of water do you drink per day?

It really depends on the day. In the summer when I have my water bottle with my all the time, I will drink a couple litres a day. But lately I have been really bad, and my skin is definitely showing it.

9. March 24 is the birthday of Harry Houdini. Have you ever watched a professional magic show? Share.

I have watched a few magic shows that are on the side of the street, in parks, etc. I saw one while I was on the cruise last fall. None of which I would say were "professional" in any sense other than that they were getting paid.

10. Have you ever been a participant in a professional magic show (up on stage!)?

No

11. March 24 is also the birthday of Steve McQueen and Clyde Barrow. Do you like Westerns or gangster movies? If so, what is your favorite?

I grew up watching Westerns with my dad every Sunday afternoon when we got home from church, before Road to Avonlea and Disney. I have never really been a fan of gangster movies.

12. (Really random) What U.S. state that you've never visited would you like to visit someday?

I have only been to 4 US states: Washington, Alaska, Hawaii and Florida. I would like to go to Oregon, California and New York. Also, Texas.

And that concludes another episode of Random Dozen! Thanks for stopping by!

Say That You'll Come

2010-03-23T21:51:00.001-07:00

I was betrayed tonight. It hurt more than I could have imagined. My heart just isn't quite as ready to let go as my head is.

My client and I were on our way to her gymnastics class, and I drove past "the house." I ended up tearing up and getting all heart achey.

What is "the house?" A few weeks before my ex and I broke up we drove past this amazing old farm house. It's yellow and has a wrap around porch and although is a major fixer-upper is pretty much the house I have dreamt about since I was a little girl. Anyway, we started joking about "one day" stuff like how the house would be great with all the land, and a dog, and a couple of kids...etc... Now this is pretty awkward stuff considering we really hadn't been together long, but it just felt natural. We even ended up, very awkwardly at this point, arguing over which is a cuter name for a little girl, Madison or Madelyn, which would be shortened to Maddy. Anyway, long story short, I had, after a 2 year friendship/crush and a few months dating, fallen hard. When it ended I was pretty hurt. But in the last month I have done a pretty good job of convincing my head that it was all for the best. All of it. The friendship, the relationship and the break up. I learned a lot both about myself and what I am ultimately looking for.

This video/song is my amazing friend Jen Miller. She wrote this song today. I'm kinda loving it.

Oh and on a cute sidenote: My client has autism, and generally doesn't notice other people's emotions. When we were at the park, I was getting a little misty eyed, she looked at me and said "[Renee] sad" and then promptly ran to the playground. It put a little smile on my face for the rest of the evening.

100 Truths

2010-03-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine did this and since I was bored I decided to do it as well. It originally said that when you are finished tag n amount of people. If you decide you would like to do it too go ahead! Add a comment with a link back to your answers!

Skip any questions you don't feel comfortable answering.

1. Last beverage→ [cheap] Champagne with green tea chai apple juice

2. Last phone call→ received from my friend Stephen. trying to get together...eventually.

3. Last text message→ Shaun

4. Last song you listened to→ Something on Jen's computer ??

5. Last time you cried→ not including crying from onions or wind? probably a couple of weeks ago. wow that's actually kind of surprising!

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice → yes

7. Been cheated on? → yes

8. Kissed someone & regretted it? yes

9. Lost someone special?→ Yes

10. Been depressed?→ Yes

11. Been drunk and threw up? → unfortunately yes

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Green

13. Blue

14. Yellow

15. Orange

HAVE YOU:

16. Made new friends → Yes

17. Fallen out of love → Yes

18. Laughed until you cried → Yes

19. Met someone who changed you → Yes

20. Found out who your true friends were → Yes

21. Found out someone was talking about you → Yes

22. Kissed anyone on your friends list→ Yes

23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → All but one...but that will change eventually.

24. How many kids do you want to have→ 2. 3 if I have twins.

25. Do you have any pets? → Sort of. I have a cat, Zacch, who lives in foster care in Kamloops with a really nice family :)

26. Do you want to change your name→ My last name, eventually.

27. What did you do for your last birthday→ I had dinner with a friend. No big parties.

28. What time did you wake up today → 9:25!!! I got to sleep in! It was amazing! I didn't get out of bed til 10:30 though!

29. What were you doing at midnight last night → sleeping

30. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Right now...returning/finishing school. Having a real job/career. Meeting MR Right-for-me and getting married! oh and a baby. I want a baby. They are just so cute! haha

31. Last time you saw your father→ March 2. I went home for a week :)

32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ Too many to list.

33.What are you listening to right now? → No music, but Cake Boss is on TV

34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom→ I have talked to a Thomas. Does that count? I've also been in the presence of Tom Welling, although I never spoke to him. He did brush up against me while passing though...

35. What's getting on your nerves right now? → My contacts are drying out...

36. Most visited webpage → Facebook

37. What's your name→ Robyn Renee

38. Nicknames→ Bob, SweetPea, Rob, Bobyn, husband.

39. Relationship Status → Single

40. Zodiac sign → Aries

41. Male or female or transgendered → female

42. Elementary→ NOYB

43. Middle School → NOYB

44. High school→ NOYB

45. Hair color → dark brown

46. Long or short → medium. It's shoulder length

47. Height → 5' 8"

48. Do you have a crush on someone? → Why yes I do! :)

49: What do you like about yourself? → My eyes. And my ability to withstand a lot.

50. Piercings → 2 in my left ear, 3 in my right, navel, and I used to have my nose pierce, but not anymore...one day again.

51. Tattoos → Right foot. The words "Spoken For" in a fancy script, and another in the planning stages.

52. Righty or lefty → Righty, although any sports that involve my feet I am "lefty"

FIRSTS :

53. First surgery → I was 2 I think? I had tubes put in my ears.

54. First piercing → Ears. I was 7

55. First best friends → Tara and Tracey. My oldest and lifelong friends!

56. First sport you joined → Figure Skating

57. First pet→ We had a dog and a cat.

58. First vacation→ Other than camping and such...Hawaii for my 13th birthday

59. First concert → Relient K, in Terrace, back before anybody really knew who they were.

60. First crush → Isaac. closely followed by Brent

RIGHT NOW:

61. Eating → nothing...although now I really want a cinnamon bun from my trip to Ikea earlier today.

62. Drinking → nothing.

63. I'm about to → go to sleep

64. Listening to → still nothing.

65. Waiting for → this to be done so I can go to bed...

YOUR FUTURE :

66. Want kids? → definitely yes!

67. Want to get married? → definitely yes!

68. Careers in mind→ Special Ed teacher, Highschool English/Drama teacher and eventually maybe Stay-at-home-mom? or at least for a little while.

IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

69. Lips or eyes → eyes

70. Hugs or kisses → Kisses are great, but I love a good hug!

71. Shorter or taller → Taller.

72. Older or Younger → I guess it doesn't matter as long as they're somewhere close to being on the same page as me.

73. Romantic or spontaneous → Both!

74. Nice stomach or nice arms → If I can only choose one...stomach

75. Sensitive or loud → There's a right time and place for both of those.

76. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.

77. Trouble maker or hesitant → Hesitant. I'm tired of bad boys.

HAVE YOU EVER :

78. Kissed a stranger → ahhh....kinda? I kinda knew him :)

79. Drank hard liquor → yes

80. Lost glasses/contacts → haha yeah! I lost a pair of glasses somewhere in Banff.

81. Sex on first date → Nope

82. Broken someone's heart → yep. it sucks.

83. Had your own heartbroken → Too many times!

84. Been arrested → Not yet... :)

86. Turned someone down →yes

87. Cried when someone died → Yes

88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → like LIKE like? I have thought girls were attractive, but not in a "I like you" kind of way.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

89. Yourself → Most of the time

90. Miracles → yes.

91. Love at first sight → Attraction at first site yes, love at first sight no.

92. Heaven → 100% yes.

93. Santa Clause → no

95. Kiss on the first date? → no. not anymore. You have to work for it boys! This girl's heart is guarded!

96. Angels → yes

97. Ghosts → it's hard to say. yes and no.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

98. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yes

99. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → yes. I was young and stupid.

100. Posting this as 100 Truths? → Yes

Well, now apparently you know all about me. :P If you actually read through this all congrats! No get out of here! and don't forget to comment if you decide to be crazy and do this too!

Flashback Friday! #2

2010-03-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

When was your first date? You can choose either your first date ever or your first date with your spouse - or both! How old were you?

I was 15. He was home from university for Christmas break. I had to ask my parents if I could go, because I was not yet 16.

What did you do/where did you go?

We went for lunch.

Did anything memorable - either good or embarrassing?

I remember the incredible butterflies that were going through my tummy leading up to and during when he met me and gave me a hug :) That day a local company was having a lunch meeting and one of the ladies was getting out of her car, saw us, whistled and said "get a room!" I was pretty embarrassed!

If it was your first date ever, did you continue to date that person? If so, how long?

No we never went on another date. Our fathers work together, and although I don't know what he said, my father said something to his father that scared him away. I did end up going on a few dates with his best friend years later though.

If you are sharing the story of the first date with the person you married, did you know then that he/she was "the one" or did it take a longer for love to bloom?

Any other memories you wish to share about those wonderfully awkward first dates?!

Most of my relationships have begun after being friends first, so generally the first actual date is kinda awkward as we move from friends to more.

No Alien Babies

2010-03-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

So today was the day to go get all my test results from last week. Turns out everything is normal. No alien babies. No infections. No horrible disease. Just a not so fun ruptured ovarian cyst. Phew! I'm not so excited that this will most likely happen again. I had a similar, more intense but shorter, pain last year that ended with me in emerge and a ultrasound only for them to say "it was probably a cyst don't worry about it"

One good thing that came out of all this though was that it forced me to go in for a pap. I have been avoiding going for one since I don't have a doctor down here. For all you ladies out there who have not had a PAP in the last 2 years: GO NOW! Seriously! Even if you are not sexually active! It's nice to know that everything is looking fine down there!

Ok enough with the lecture. Enjoy your Sunday. Go drink a mimosa!

Sing it Michael!

2010-03-13T18:35:00.001-08:00

It's like he's singing about my life....

Flashback Friday

2010-03-12T10:32:00.000-08:00

How and when did you learn to drive? Do you have any particular memories associated with getting your driver license? How old were you when you got your first car and what was it? Who paid for it?

I'm going to start by saying that I am still a "youngin" at 23 so this wasn't too long ago.

My dad took me out in what would soon be my brothers Tercel. It was a standard. I believe, after stalling approximately 5000 times or more, I jumped out of the car (on the dirt road leading to our house) in tears and ran home.

After that my parents payed for lessons in the neighbouring town. Because I live in BC, we have the graduated licensing program. At the time I had to have my learner's permit(L) for 6 months and my Novice permit (N) for 18 months. With the GLP lessons I was able to test for my N after 3 months. I failed and had to redo the test a couple months later.

Driving home with my N, in a snowstorm, I came up to a corner (this is in mountainous, windy roads) to see my high school counsellor (who is known for her horrible driving) in my lane! Let's just say mom and I had to pull over afterwards (when it was safe!) to collect ourselves!

I still have never owned a car; I live in a city with a great transit system. I imagine when I am finished school and have a career I can start thinking about that. But right now it's just not in the budget.

Plinko Random Dozen

2010-03-09T20:57:00.000-08:00

Definition of plink: "Plinking refers to informal target shooting done at non-traditional targets such as tin cans, glass bottles, and balloons filled with water." Plinko is also a carnival game we play at Oneighty, but pot-luck shots fits this meme better, I think.

So here are your random plinko questions lined up in a row just like tin cans:

1. How old is the oldest pair of shoes in your closet?

If sandals count, I have a pair from about grade 9 or 10 so about 9 years old. They are a pair of Teva's though so they will last forever :)

If sandals don't count, then I have no idea.

2. Did you buy Girl Scout cookies this year? If so, what variety?

No. I did eat some Girl Guide cookies though. I think my roommate bought them. They were the chocolate mint ones.

3. Do you know how to ballroom dance? If not, would you like to?

I know how to waltz. My dad taught me when I as little. I would LOVE to actually learn more though. I used to ice dance. That was fun!

4. Were you a responsible child/teenager?

I was extremely responsible! I owe that to my parents putting me in lots of extra-curriculars.

5. How many of this year's Oscar-nominated movies did you see?

I saw 4 of the 10 Best Picture nominations. Up, Up in the Air, Avatar and The Blind Side.

6. If you're going to have a medical procedure done, such as having blood drawn, is it easier for you to watch someone else having the procedure done or have it done yourself?

I definitely do better with having it done to myself! I don't like blood or needles, but when I injure myself or need blood drawn I'm somewhat okay.

7. What is your favorite day of the week and why?

Day 4! I am on a 3 on 3 off shift week. So when it's day 4 I am happy, because I get to go home!

8. Do you miss anyone right now?

Yes.

9. Do hospitals make you queasy?

No. I hate the smell though.

10. At which store would you like to max-out your credit card. Not that you ever would, you responsible person, you.

Mountain Equipment Co-op. I want my own camping stuff this year.

11. Are you true to the brand names of products/items?

For some things yes, like laundry detergent (I'm allergic to most) and beauty supplies (again because of sensitive skin/allergies) but for food and other cleaning supplies I'm pretty good with whatever is the best deal. Oh but I don't cheap out on toilet paper. That has to be the good stuff!

12. Which is more difficult: looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when he/she is telling you how he/she feels?

I think I have a harder time when I am telling them how I feel. I am pretty insecure/shy when it comes to letting myself open up to others. When people tell me how they feel about me I find it pretty awkward though.

Pain = no fun

2010-03-09T20:42:00.000-08:00

Have you seen the movie Alien vs Predator. The part where the pregnant lady's tummy starts moving and then the aliens burst out?!

Have you ever felt like something is going on inside your body, something bad, but you have no idea what it is?

I have had some pretty annoying, not quite agonizing pain in my lower back and abdomen on the left side which radiates into my thighs, for the better part of this past week. Yep not fun. I tried to google diagnose myself, and scared myself so I went to the doctor. I got sent to the lab to get tests done and now I have to wait 'til Monday to get my results. I was told if it gets worse to come back in before then. As of today it's spread to the right side.

I'm pretty sure there are no alien eggs in there that are going to hatch and burst out of my abdomen, but all the other options are just as scary. Here's to praying that the pain suddenly disappears!

Can you say procrastination?

2010-03-07T15:05:00.001-08:00

It's a gross rainy day.

My bedroom is a mess.

I have a huge pile of dirty laundry.

I haven't unpacked yet from my trip home.

I have photos to edit.

I have a project to write.

And what am I doing?

Facebook and blogging.

I have also already gone tanning and to the store.

And soon the Oscars will be on. Well soonish.

Time to get the music blasting and the cleaning done.....

.......

............

..................

.......................

.............................. ok i'm going.

"Get Rid of Him" just not yet...

2010-03-05T08:46:00.001-08:00

Single life news: ____________.

Yep it's been an exciting couple of weeks! [please note sarcasm]

I actually did have an awesome week visiting my family and friends. It was slightly depressing to see that most of my friends are married/getting married/having babies/buying houses. I know that I am still very young with lots of time ahead of me, but still I wonder sometimes.

Also, I have recently discovered a deeply hidden/pushed down crush that has started to surface. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's not even a possibility at this point for oh so many reasons, but something I have been thinking/praying about.

When I was 15 or 16 a very Godly woman told me that when she was younger, every time she would start dating/becoming interested in someone, she would pray that "if he isn't 'the one' then get rid of him!" When she met her husband she did not want to marry him as he was a friend of her older brother. She kept praying/pleading with God to "get rid of him", but he never left. Now, after 40+ years of being married, they both laugh about it.

I have taken this to heart. I have found that when I remember this little prayer, I usually ignore it, because every time I pray it the guy leaves. Yeah I know, kinda the point, but still not fun. The last 2 times it happened almost immediately, like within a week it goes from bliss to me being confused as to what just happened!

Everything happens in His time. Not mine. Sometimes I wish I could just know the day, time, place where everything is going to be "perfect."

Random Dozen

2010-02-24T21:23:00.000-08:00

I've done this on a previous blog, and now I'm going to try and start again. I really like the Random Dozen because it's a freebie blog day AND I get to share random facts about my life!

1. Have you ever fired a gun or shot a bow and arrow?

Yes and yes! I don't remember when I first fired a gun, but I was really really little. Like probably 5 years old. Same for a bow and arrow. I also spent my summers growing up at a summer camp and taught archery and riflery for years.

2. Do you know where your childhood best friends are?

Yes. Most of them anyway, and mostly thanks to Facebook.

3. Do you usually arrive early, late, or on time?

I try to be early all the time, but I tend to be either early or really late.

4. Are you more of a New York or California type?

Up until recently I would have said New York, but I would definitely say I am more California. It's a west coast thing I think.

5. Do you have a special ring tone?

I have several. My main ringtone is Don't Rain on My Parade from Glee. I have individual ringtones for certain friends :)

6. What is your favorite type of chip?

Generally anything cheesy flavoured.

7. Best comedy you've ever seen is ....

TV comedy: The Big Bang Theory...or at least that's my favourite right now

Movie: ?? I can't think of any right now

8. Have you ever cut your own hair? To quote Dr. Phil, "How'd that work for ya?"

I have cut and then trimmed my own bangs. They turned out okay. I won't do it anymore though. I have one hair stylist and whenever she doesn't cut my hair its a disaster. I don't trust anyone but her!

9. If you were going to have an extreme makeover, would you rather it be about your house or your personal self?

Since I don't have a house I would say me. But if someone were to offer to come in and clean and redecorate my apartment, or you know buy/build me a house I would go for it. But then again I could really go for a new wardrobe....

10. Are you allergic to anything?

Yes. Before about 6 years ago I only had one allergy. Now I have several. I'm a bee/wasp stings girl. As well as a few others.

11. Why is it so hard to change?

Mainly because people don't like to admit that they need to change.

12. One last question dedicated to February love: CS Lewis said, "To love is to be vulnerable." Please share one example of that assertion or share any thought you'd like to about this topic.

In my experience, it's only when I love someone that I truly let them into my life. This has left me completely vulnerable and hurt at times, but also has let me made some amazing connections with some amazing people.

And that's all for tonight folks. Take care!

Thoughts and stuff

2010-02-23T16:31:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about my future. What should I take in school? What am I going to do/be when I grow up? Where am I going to live? When am I going to meet Mr. Right? What's he going to be like? etc etc etc etc...

I'm going to try and tackle these questions over the next little while, or at least put my thoughts down so I can look back at them one day in the future and see where I am.

First up. Where am I going to go to school?

I have been accepted to my dream school. It's a private Christian university and thus costs A LOT OF $$! In order for me to go there I would need some major financial aid as well as student loans. I would also have to move. It's only an hour away from where I live now, and technically I could commute, but I don't have a car and public transit would take 1.5-2 hrs. Not ideal. Plus I would have to leave my amazing roommate/wife (more on that some other time).

I am waiting to here back from the university that I live right beside. Seriously. It's a whole lot cheaper to attend, I wouldn't have to move and it was my 2nd choice school way back when I graduated from high school. Ideally this is the better choice, so hopefully they offer me admission. I checked my status and they finally have all of my paperwork!

What should I take in school?

I have applied for the Bachelor of Education program. I am 3 credits short of the required credits to transfer into the program, but I'm hoping by some miracle they allow it! My 2nd option was a Bachelor of General Studies in order to get my last 3 credits before transferring in. So, again, ideally I will be taking my Bachelor of Education, majoring in Education and minoring in Learning Disabilities.

Which brings me to:

What am I going to be when I grow up?

When I graduated from high school I wanted to be a Secondary Drama and English teacher. After 3 years of university, the idea of going to school for the rest of my life was not ideal! Now, after another 3 years of "living" the original plan seems pretty awesome. Yes, I still want to teach Drama and English, but I also want to learn more about learning disabilities and how to overcome the issues that come along with them. For the last few months I have been working as an In Home Support Worker with youth who have autism. I am absolutely amazed at how fast these kids can learn when given the right programming for their needs. I've also gotten to learn some ASL which has been very cool. I don't know a lot, but I can sign "coffee, please" and "I am bored/really bored!" which of course are 2 very important signs to know!

The rest of the questions will be answered in time. Most likely, not in as quick of time as I would like, but that's alright. I have lots of time.

After Awhile..

2010-02-21T13:51:00.001-08:00

After a while

you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises

and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn

with every good-bye you learn

It's been a bit since my last post. How am I? I'm good. I had a moment today, which then reminded me that I have a blog.

I have been sick. It isn't very fun. I got a cold from work I suppose, and then enjoyed a couple days of fun - bowling and free concerts - only to wake up the day before returning to work feeling like death. I stayed all day on the couch, half watching tv/movies half sleeping.

Yesterday I enjoyed watching an Olympic hockey game from private box seats courtesy of my work. It was incredible, and I wish I could have stayed til the end of the game, but unfortunately some people are on schedules that can not be changed, ie my client.

Today is beautiful and sunny and I am going to enjoy it! You should too.

Advice from a hero...

2010-02-14T14:10:00.000-08:00

At the end of the most recent episode of Smallville comes an inspiring quote:

How do I know when to let go?

It's all about your heart,

just listen,

right there in between the beats,

that's when you let go.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Valentine Blows!

2010-02-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

I tried really hard not to let my past and recent pain to get in the way of making this year a "happy" Valentine's. Unfortunately, a single event has completely turned my plans upside down.

I had a plan for this year. I found an amazing man who shared the same beliefs, and a lot of the same interests. We were incredibly compatible in so many ways!

But now she is back. She, yes the ex, is back and all my hopes of him realizing what a mistake he had made have been crushed. I am only finding out now, but she showed up within a day.

The thing I hate the most out of this entire situation is that in some sick way I am happy for him. He got the girl. Unfortunately for me, I didn't get the guy.

And now that I know, I can move on right? Eventually. At least I have my chocolate, my best friend and a movie date to see Valentine's Day. Will it be incredible romantic and cute? Most likely. Will I probably end up curled up in my bed tonight with my teddy bear crying? Most likely. Do I know this is all for the best? Yes, but it still blows.

Then I'll Start Back at One...

2010-02-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

On my way to work yesterday morning, I was surprised at some of the music that has made it onto my iPod - One being Back at One by Brian McKnight. It made me smile and reminiscent of high school...which is hard for me to do.

So how is life you ask? Well I'm still working on it. I went for a walk yesterday and thought of him and felt my heart break all over again. I can see the positives in this, but the hurt overshadows it.

Thanks to the lady at the hair salon, my chest hurts for a completely different reason: I have a chest cold. It's still early on, but going for a run in the cold air this morning didn't help. Thank you for coughing on me several times.

True Self

2010-02-07T19:16:00.000-08:00

Do you have that one friend,or couple of friends, that you can be completely 100% yourself without worrying about what they are going to think about you? I got to hang out today with probably the one person in my life who I can be completely myself with.

Some days I feel like I have a split personality. There is the sweet, girl next door. There is also the real, say what's on my mind, no filter me. Sometimes, most of the time, there is a somewhere in-between girl. Today the no filter me came out. And she had fun!

Let's just say, most of my friends would have been completely offended, possibly appalled, by some of the conversations, but we laughed and enjoyed ourselves. Reality hurts sometimes, but it can also be very humorous.

But then the two of us are complete narcissists.

Dreams

2010-02-07T09:51:00.001-08:00

I had some very very strange dreams last night. They were probably a result of a conversation yesterday I had about last summer. Though I'm not sure if catching a fish by stabbing it with a stick is something I will ever be able to do.

So excited to be going home soon! I have 4 little girls who will be giving me lots of hugs, even if they don't want to :)

The Drive, Chai, New Hair and Reconnecting

2010-02-06T22:37:00.001-08:00

Today was wonderful!

I had a chance to reconnect with a friend that I have not seen in a year over a cup of JJBean Chai Latte. She is absolutely amazing and I cannot wait for next week when we are going to have a shopping day on the Drive. Today was a window shopping trip, next week will be a spend some money on some cute clothes and other things day!

I also got a hair cut, because getting a new look always makes a girl feel better. Right?

Tomorrow's plans include "all-you-can-eat-sushi" and wandering downtown before the real Olympic craziness begins. Should be good.

low

2010-02-05T20:01:00.001-08:00

I just hit another low. It's amazing what a photo can do.

Tonight's plans: movie, bed, blanket and hopefully no Kleenex.

Numb

2010-02-05T16:56:00.001-08:00

I don't really feel anything today. Is that normal?

I sent a thank you note to his mom for including me in some wonderful meals with the family etc. Is that weird?

I'm watching Oprah and for the first time ever have realized that she is really annoying! Anyone else feel the same?

Happiness is a M&M Chocolate Cookie

2010-02-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

I've had a fairly good day. I keep focusing on the good things right now, like M&M Chocolate Brownie cookies! I also have 2 incredibly cute kids that I work with that make me smile. Their giggles are contagious.

Finishing up some paperwork and heading to bed.

I will be okay.

Song of the Day: Take Me As I Am by FM Static

I have had this song playing over and over in my head all day.

Back at work

2010-02-04T14:50:00.000-08:00

I am okay.

tears are welling up

but

I am okay.

Waking up to...Day 2

2010-02-04T09:30:00.000-08:00

Last night was hard. I didn't want to fall asleep, but did at the same time. With my brain turned off of what I wanted, or rather didn't want, to think about some very interesting things happened. I had several very interesting dreams. I was reminded that there are so many things that I want to do with my life before I get tied down, like travel.

I am going to be okay, but that doesn't change the fact that I still hurt.

sleep

2010-02-03T22:47:00.000-08:00

It's been a crappy day and all I want to do is curl up and sleep.

But there's no one here to cuddle with.

12 hours

2010-02-03T21:15:00.000-08:00

Well my head still hurts.

I haven't burst into tears in a few hours.

I found some leftover Chinese food in the fridge from a couple nights ago.

It was good.

Talked to my amazing roommate and tried to figure stuff out, but it turned a little into a rant session.

Ultimately it was decided that guys are dumb.

Oh and a friend has shown what a true sweetheart he is by telling another friend of mine "What an idiot. If you're lucky enough to get a girl like [her], you don't let her go." Thanks B.

9 hours in

2010-02-03T17:43:00.000-08:00

This sucks. My eyes hurt from crying. I have a headache, which may either be from all the sudden bursts of tears, or from all the sugar I have ingested via Hershey's Hugs and the giant jawbreaker I have been licking for the better part of the last 2 hours. My jaw also hurts. I haven't eaten anything of substance all day except for that eggs benedict this morning right before having my heart crushed. But hey what's a little break up and eggs right?

Going to find something in my apartment easy to make and worth eating. Then to find another movie to watch...maybe something better than (500) days of Summer. Which probably wasn't such a good idea...

And so it is...

2010-02-03T12:11:00.000-08:00

This morning begins a new phase in my life.

Thinking about what to write in this first entry was so much easier than actually putting something down.

Long story short: I fell for an amazing man who was still in love with someone else.

So once again I am walking aimlessly in this world that I am so uncomfortable in:

Single Life

Song of the day: The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice